Week 3: Waitomo Caves and Taupo

Tina, a Lucida colleague of Jem’s, recommended we go to a place called Waitomo Caves, aka the Glowworm Caves, as one of the ‘must-do’ activities of NZ. This is an area of the central North Island, which on the surface is normal pasture land, but is actually riddled with caves, caverns and tunnels – 307 at last count. They are populated by a species of glowworm native to the dark, shady and damp places of New Zealand and Australia. The caves themselves are filled with stalagmites, stalactites and all manner of rock formations created from water and acid erosion. We book our accommodation (Big Bird B&B, home of Ostriches!) and a tour of the caves. Looking at the choices of activities abseiling, black water rafting, caving and climbing and not being able to choose we decide on a tour that does them all. Arriving at the tour operators we meet our tour guide Mike, and tour companions four young Irish people, two of whom live in Auckland.

Kitted out in (smelly) wetsuits and wellies (with drain hole in the soles) we head for the caves. First there is an abseil of 30 meters into a limestone cavern then we spend 3.5 hours exploring the tunnel system trying our hand at caving and climbing in the dark, and wading through the underground river that has formed this cave system (6.5 Kilometres end-to-end). Additional company is provided by eels and water spiders and the ubiquitous glowworms overhead. There are so many glowworms in the caves that the place never seems properly dark. This is no exaggeration – looking up in the dark cavern the roof looks like a night sky of eerily blue/green stars. It all looks amazing and other worldly. This opinion is not shared by one of the Irish girls, however, it’s way too dark if you don’t like the dark, and that’s not to mention eels, spiders and the thought of whatever else might be in the darkness. Truly enough to scare yourself if you have a mind to. Indeed the fact that the glowworms are not worms but a large maggots does little to add to the glamour of the experience or the comfort of the young Irish lady. Funny they don’t mention this in the marketing! We finish our experience with a 30-metre rock climb back out of the cavern to daylight and the sheep grazing all around. A truly awesome and really fun afternoon. Thanks Tina – an excellent recommendation and definitely our highlight this week.

Other than the caves, Waitomo doesn’t have too much to offer. However, there are two things worth mentioning. We visit a bird park and get our first glance of the New Zealand Kiwi! This is actually a great experience. The Kiwi is a pretty big bird (the size of a very large chicken) and is of course flightless, with no wings visisble at all. This makes it look extremely odd as it struts around with its long beak poking into the ground looking for grubs. The population has hit dangerously low levels (mainly because it can’t fly away from anything) and there is a significant campaign of protection underway to get this native bird’s levels back up. The second activity worth mentioning was our visit to an ‘angora rabbit shearing shed’! This was hilarious. As the pics show they string up the poor rabbits, front and rear, in what looks like a medieval torture rack before shearing off its fur. In reality, they have to shear them every three months or the rabbit would die of heat exhaustion, it’s conducted by a member of the SPCA (equiv. to RSPCA) and they seem to be very relaxed and almost enjoy the experience. At the end, we understand why. When the male rabbits have been clipped, they are allowed to go off and do bunny things with the girls, which they’re not allowed to do when they’re hairy!!

On returning to Taupo, the weather was a little better and we managed to get in a number of lake-based activities that had eluded us previously. It’s a truly stunning lake and well worth a visit.

Week 2: Bay of Islands and Bay of Plenty

Waitangi and Paihia

Having already been caught up in Anniversary weekend in Auckland we’re excited to hear that there is another celebration on the way – Waitangi Day. Waitangi is a few kilometres down the coast at the Bay of Islands, exactly where we’re heading. We arrive in Paihia – the centre of the bay of Islands and a 20-minute walk to Waitangi – just as the celebrations are revving up. Waitangi Day commemorates the signing of the Treaty of Waitangi – the founding document of New Zealand. Signed in 1840 between the British Crown and the United Tribes of New Zealand and other Maori leaders (50 in total) it is a treaty setting out the rights of all parties and was meant to help protect the Maori from land-grabbing by the settlers, and the settlers being allowed to settle in peace. However, with one treaty in English and a Maori translation there has often been discontent and upset over the way the treaty has been implemented as a result of the different interpretations. As a consequence Waitangi Day has often been marred by protests and unruly behaviour, with many people choosing to stay clear of the area. However, relations between Maori and Pakeha (non Maori) are currently better than ever and this day is a fantastic celebration.

There’s a real party atmosphere around the bay with children jumping into the sea from the bridge, families playing in the water and multiple displays of local culture, signing and dancing. The Maori waka’s (war canoes) are out on the sea for us to admire, many of which have recently been restored and are out for the first time in 50 years.

We also have the opportunity to see the largest, which can hold 130 people. We watch the guys do the Haka, which is great fun and for once is when being ugly is the ultimate aim. There’s act after act on the main stage and we get to watch and listen to lots of traditional Maori dancing and singing as well as more contemporary acts such as a fantastic young hip hop dance group.

Later on in the day we make our way over to the Treaty Grounds to watch the NZ Navy perform the ‘Beat Retreat’ Sunset Ceremony’ and the ‘Lowering of the Flag’. It was an eclectic and fun day where we were truly submerged into New Zealand culture.

Kauri Forest

On our way to our next destination we take a drive through the Kauri forest on the west coast of Northland. There’s not much to note from our drive down this way with the exception of the Kauri trees themselves. The Kauri is an ancient tree which can live up to 2000 years and can measure up to 50 meters in height and 20 meters in girth. We visit Tane Mahuta (Lord of the Forest), which has a girth of 16 meters and is approximately 50 meters tall. The photos do not do it justice…this tree is immense.

Whitianga (pronounced Fitianga)

Next on our route down is the Coromandel Peninsular where we stop at a small little harbour town called Whitianga on Mercury Bay. This is a lovely area with lots of beautiful coves and walks but the fun highlight is certainly ‘Hot Water Beach’.

For two hours either side of low tide (just gone noon when we visit) the activity is to dig your own hole in the sand and create your own hot water spa pool. You walk along the beach testing the sand which your feet to see where the hot water brewing and then start digging, being careful not to choose a spot that feels like the kettle’s just boiled. Having found what we believe is an appropriate spot, we start digging, working against the waves that seem set on destroying our hard work. Typical of us, we end up with a major engineering feat, big enough for guests, which is just perfect, given that’s what we have!! As we settle in to our new spa pool home we bump into Sue and Graham Bennett, one of our best mates from home Lou - ’s Mum and Dad! Yep…small world.

It’s brilliant. We invite them into our warm little pool and have a good old catch up about what’s going on at home as well as exchanging hints, tips and good places to visit in NZ. What a way to spend an afternoon. This is definitely a must-do activity!!

Lake Taupo

After Whitianga we drive on to Taupo which is in the centre. The main thing about Taupo, and impossible to miss at any distance, is the lake – all 616 square kilometres of it! The largest lake in New Zealand and the largest fresh water lake in Oceania it was formed by a series of volcanic eruptions of epic proportions, the lake sits in the crater of the volcano – a Caldera. The latest eruption – dated at 186AD – threw 100 cubic kilometres of material into the atmosphere and was so significant that the Chinese noted a blackening of the sky and the Romans talked of the heavens turning red. However this eruption is tiny compared to the one that made the lake originally which ejected 1,170 cubic kilometres of molten rock, ash and other material. Today the lake and lakeside are very tranquil and we spend two days relaxing in and around the town. We have planned an excursion to Waitomo Caves for later this week but intend to return here as we feel we have not seen many of the ‘must-do’ activities, watch for the next updates.

Week 1: Auckland and Doubtless Bay

Auckland. City of sails!

We arrive in Auckland after almost 30 hours door to door of travelling. Yes, it’s long, but when we arrive in Auckland it feels great. There’s a buzz in the air, the sun is shining and it’s fresh and green and feels really welcoming. We arrive on Auckland anniversary celebration weekend and get stuck in to acclimatising as best we can. As usual this means walking miles and miles whilst exploring, stopping every now and then for coffee or to stock-up on the things we need but didn’t want to carry from England. Auckland is a beautiful, young, lively city right on the harbour and we walk though parks and suburbs, with steep hills reminiscent of San Fransico (not that we’ve been). Last time we were here we had failed to notice the influence of the Japanese community on the city and its restaurants. Not this time. We seem to be in the heart of the Japanese community, and get stuck in with some Sushi and Sashimi, yum. (Good practice for our next country!)

Monday morning and whilst the weather is not being quite as kind to us today (windy and raining) we have a trip already organised to watch some of the celebratory boating activities from a boat in the harbour. The finer points of yacht racing are lost on us but we are transfixed by the tug boat race that happens annually and features a restored steam powered tug run by enthusiasts. The newer boats really race; this is serious stuff with pride at stake. As you can see by the pictures three extremely powerful tugs are really pulling out all the stops, going pretty fast, but literally four feet apart!

The age of chivalry is not dead, however, and with the ‘Daldy’ or ‘dawdley’ as we named her lagging behind, the newer boats stop and allow this very old steam tug to catch up, overtake and take the gun. All very cute.

Doubtless Bay

Tuesday morning we pick up our hire car and hit the open road. In many ways this freedom to escape into New Zealand in a vehicle feels like gaining control of our destiny and marks the beginning of the next nine months. We have decided, with reference to a wholly inadequate ‘touring’ map that we will head straight to the top of New Zealand and then wind our way back down. So we drive from down-town Auckland to Mangonui. Not quite right at the top, but the start of ‘right at the top’ and a picturesque village on the coast to use as a base to then explore the pretty beaches and deserted peninsula that make up the far north of ‘Northland’.

Mangonui is at the top of Doubtless Bay and is an easy drive to a collection of beautiful and secluded bays and beaches on the Karikari Peninsula which we spend the best part of the day exploring before heading back home to fill ourselves up on freshly caught fish and chips.

Next on our agenda is a coach tour of Ninety Mile Beach and Cape Reinga the ‘tipper most top’ of the North Island. 90 Mile Beach is a driveable beach which as the name may gives away, is mile upon mile of beautiful white sand (though it’s only 60 miles long – con). However, the best bit is yet to come. We drive off the beach through a quick sand river (no stopping here folks!) and arrive at some immense sand dunes. These really are ridiculously high…but all the better for what we have in mind. Sand dune sledging! Walking up sand dunes that high is pretty exhausting but sledging down them so much fun.

A drive further up to Cape Reinga produces some beautiful views of the Tasman Sea and Pacific Ocean meeting each other just in front of a beautiful little lighthouse.

Week 0: The Plan

So here we are; our much anticipated tour of the Asia Pacific.

Our first job is to tell everyone the schedule as it stands right now so you can think of meeting us in exotic locations when you are planning your own holidays. We promise, if you do come out and meet us along our journey, you will not find us with dreadlocks or wearing Ali Baba pants!!

Feb and March

First stop is New Zealand arriving 30^th Jan 2010 and spending approximately a month in North Island and a month in South Island. We leave New Zealand from Auckland on the 27^th March.

April

Next we have 3 weeks in Japan spending our time roughly split between Tokyo, Osaka and Kyoto with some bits in between e.g. Mount Fuji San. We arrive in Tokyo 27^th March and leave on the 19^th April.

April, May and June

Bangkok is next arriving on 19^th April but setting off immediately for a 30-day tour of Thailand, Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam then back to Bangkok.

We have given ourselves about five weeks to travel from Bangkok to Singapore and then to Australia at the beginning of July. These five weeks are currently pretty free format and what we want to do will depend to a great extent on how we are feeling following the tour of Indochina.

July, August and September

Three months are budgeted for Australia. We are landing in the North-East of Australia during the southern hemisphere winter. This will hopefully be a perfect time to travel, as it will be dry and warm but not too hot or humid. As we did some of the west coast for our honeymoon last August we wanted to see other parts of this vast country. We’re thinking of travelling clockwise so, North, East and South – plus some middle and then probably back West.

October

2^nd October has us in Beijing to start a three-week overland to Hong Kong, taking in many of the famous sights along the way. We are due to arrive in Hong Kong with a couple of days to spare before jumping aboard our flight to Heathrow on the 28^th October.

So now nobody has any excuse. See you somewhere cool later this year.

Day 33 - 34: Delhi. The long road home.

We leave Dehradun and drive to Delhi – this is a drive that would take 2.5 hours in Europe and takes about 7 in India. The countryside is beautiful and it’s immediately obvious why India is the second largest grower of sugarcane in the world – the stuff is everywhere. As well as growing sugarcane we see it being harvested and taken for processing. This might sound simple and industrial but…… remember where we are! The Sugar Cane is grown by every farmer and smallholder, it is then cut by hand and loaded onto small farm trailers pulled by Oxen, then transported to the local processing factory. There are Ox carts everywhere, going at Ox pace! And you know when you are approaching a cane-processing site as there are Ox and Cart traffic jams that are the longest and most orderly queues in India.

As we arrive into Delhi we pass some of the notorious land-fill areas. These are heralded some distance away by the sulphurous smell of decay and by the cloud of thousands of buzzards in the sky looking for their next meal. There are so many, that from a distance these raptors look like tealeaves swirling in a glass cup.

After we get to our hotel we decide to get ahead on our Christmas shopping and head to Delhi Haat for retail therapy and get some lovely and unique gifts for people at home. Then we have dinner in a great Biryani restaurant. The place is tucked away under a flyover and shakes every time a car passes overhead. The food is fantastic and the restaurant is rightly famed for its specialism. Following dinner we book a taxi for the next morning to take us to the airport and then home.

So five weeks, many thousands of miles, countless experiences and many different India’s visited we have time to reflect on our trip. India is a vibrant and colourful country, rich in history, sights and experiences. It is not always the easiest of places to experience or understand, but with a little effort you can reap great rewards. With the exception of a few, the people we met were warm, generous and fascinating to talk to. Many of the sights left us in awe and the mix of desert, mountains, rivers and ocean landscapes make it a diverse and rich country to visit. The food we tasted tantalised our taste buds and going for a curry will never be the same again.

Day 28 - 32: Dehradun, Mussoorie and Rishikesh.

Following our change of schedule and excursion to south India we now return to our original plan. Having sacrificed visits to Agra and Varanasi for Kerala we now have to get from Kochi to Dehradun – the only way is to do the bulk of the journey by air and then take a train. We fly from Kochi to Delhi airport and then head across town in a ‘pre-paid’ taxi (no seatbelt, doors that only just shut, no lights, a driver with a speed addiction and a point to prove to all the other Delhi drivers etc) to get to Nizamudin Station in Delhi.

We have booked a night train from Delhi to Dehradun (a town about five hours north east of Delhi) and a gateway to the Himalayas. Waiting at the station is an experience in itself – all of life is here, but it has a real buzz and feels fun despite being almost midnight. Jemima – caught up in the buzzy atmosphere decides she must try a ‘speak your weight’ machine’, which tells you your fortune and personality based on how many Domino’s Pizzas you’ve eaten. It was surprisingly accurate…

With that piece of fun complete, we decide to find the platform and look for the reservations sheet. Looking for the first class waiting room – that Phil is convinced is here somewhere – we find a sign, which is pointing towards the scene of recent demolition activity. We make our way to our platform. The first guy to approach us is selling padlocks and chains, in an instant we realise that this is to lock your luggage to the luggage rack so you can sleep without being robbed – our bags are definitely staying with us!

30mins before the train arrives the sheets of reservations get posted on a board. Takes ages to find our names but eventually, and with the help of another, more experienced passenger, we find we have a 2 berth cabin. Coupe D in the carriage behind the engines – sounds POSH. The train pulls into the station from the direction opposite that our experienced helper tells us and we leg-it to our carriage and find our cabin. We board just before midnight.

It’s not exactly the Orient Express, but actually, our little cabin is really quite cool – though made cool from the fact that it is an experience rather than anything else. Out of the five hour journey the net total hours slept is about three! Ages spent looking at the dimly lit scenery through the window is not time wasted as we ‘speed’ through the night. Arriving into Dehradun we are met by Vivek and his lovely mum, how great to be met by friends at 5:30am! Vivek drives us to his family’s house 10 minutes from the station where we get a truly warm welcome on a chilly morning.

In the afternoon we head for Mussoorie with Vivek and Neha – the town itself is just above 6000ft in the first part of the Himalayan foothills. The view is breathtaking.

The town is small and friendly and totally different from anything we have encountered so far. Lunch is in a Tibetan restaurant – more on this later – and we spend the afternoon walking around and exploring this small town.

Next morning three of us are feeling slightly unwell. Jemima is fine, Phil is at the opposite end of the spectrum and looking for something to blame (what did we have for dinner, did Phil drink any water/eat any ice, can you get altitude sickness at 6000ft????).

We press on with the plan, which is to drive to a spot where we can climb to a temple that sits on the tallest peak around without going much further into the Himalayas, the temple sits at 9995ft so there is some uphill walking to be done!

Driving the twisty roads becomes too much for the already unwell Phil who ends up sitting on the edge of a precipitous drop, 8000ft from the valley floor, being sick on the scenery; very dignified.

We finally reach our intended spot and climb (slowly) to 9995ft and are bowled over by the view. The air is cold and thin up here but we can see the snow-capped peaks of the nearest real mountains, we can see China and the no-mans-land that remains disputed from the India-China conflict of the early 1960s. For perspective we are taking it slow at 9995ft feeling the air a bit thin, Everest climbs to 29,035ft (though I’m not the one with the tape measure)

Given the collective health of the climbing team we enquire about a shorter route back to Dehradun and are impressed to find out that whilst we took a couple of hours to do the 85Kms up here there is a shorter route down! We seize the chance to take the shortcut. It takes forever to get down as the road is narrow and made of switchbacks and hairpins for the whole of out 75Km drive to descend 9000ft. life lesson – when you ask about shorter the next question should also be about quicker! The upside for Vivek and Phil at least was seeing a Mountain Leopard on the way down. These are rare animals. Don’t know which way the girls were looking.

Next day we head for Rishikesh. This is one of the most spiritually important places in India being the first flat area the Ganges hits on its way from its source in the Himalayas. We drive to Rishikesh crossing many dried seasonal riverbeds. Arriving we find a busy town and head into some quiet streets close to the Ganges. We have an appointment with a Hindu Saint called Swami Gee who Vivek has known for many years. We ring the doorbell and wait – fearing we have missed our appointment. After a short wait we see Swami Gee at the top of his stairs. Wrapped in Saffron robes, and in wooden slippers – descending the stairs he apologies for the delay answering the door; he was glued to the TV watching the cricket!

We enter Swami Gee’s house/Ashram and sit for a few minutes before being told that we should go for a boat trip on ‘Mother Ganga’ with Swami Gee.

We have no idea what to expect and watch amazed while preparations are made. The result is that four of us plus this Hindu Saint go for a boat ride in a five-man inflatable dingy with Swami Gee doing all the work.

There is truly no way to describe the experience of being paddled around a sacred river by a 70 year old saint with friends and loved ones sitting in the bottom of a small blow-up boat. Unique…and a little surreal.

For the rest of the afternoon we explore Rishikesh, criss-crossing the river on the many foot bridges, looking at the shops and Vivek having his shoes stolen while we attend a prayer service on the banks of the river Ganges.

Driving back to Dehradun Phil and Vivek spot a wild Elephant heading off into the jungle – where were the girls looking this time!!

More on the Tibetan Restaurant. It took us a little while to work out, but we have finally concluded that the tummy related issues of primarily Phil and then Vivek were caused by the Momo’s at the Tibetan Restaurant. Momo’s are like steamed Dim sums and the only person to dodge them was the only one untouched by what is now to be known as Mussoorie Misery! Long story short Phil ended up going to the doctor in Dehradun and was given anti-bactirial and anti-amoebic drugs and sleeping for 15hours. You’re nobody until you’ve had Amoebic Dysentry! Especially up in the Himalayas!!

Luckily, Vivek’s family were saints themselves and looked after both of us in true India fashion. Phil being given plenty of green and cinnamon tea and allowed to sleep, while Jemima was absorbed into family life with trips to the temple for Yoga with Vivek’s mum and a wonderful amount of fabulous Indian home cooking.

Staying with Vivek’s family was a fantastic experience and allowed us to relax and see and do activities without being a tourist.

Day 25 - 27: Cochin, Backwaters and Munnar.

Today we travel further up the coast of Kerala to Fort Cochin, a historic trading port with a strong Portuguese and Dutch influence. Fort Cochin itself is very small and easy to walk around which makes it quite different to a number of places we’ve been to. In addition, it has a wonderful mixture of religions and the town is crammed full of Hindu temples, Jewish synagogues and catholic churches. As with most of Kerala there is a high proportion of literacy (approx. 95%) and with the lush surroundings and abundance of fishing the life of the people here seems so much easier and more enjoyable than Rajasthan.

We spend most of our first day strolling around the town, looking at the iconic Chinese fishing nets and exploring the churches and temples. Before dinner, we head off to watch a kathakali dance show.

Kathakali is an ancient dance/drama ritual, which depicts the stories of gods and demons. It’s almost like a pantomime with sign language when you consider how elaborate and expressive the productions are. There are no words, only a singer, some musicians and a handful of actors using every muscle, facial expression and eye movement to play out the amazing stories. The preparation is highly ritualised involving costume and make-up and the training to become a kathakali actor or musician takes around eight years. The dramas themselves last around eight hours (luckily ours was only a snapshot!) and you can truly imagine the performances taking place in front of a Maharaja and his entourage as they eat, drink and be merry.

The next day we’re up and off on a tour of the Keralan backwaters; a labyrinth of waterways made up of lakes, canals and rivers that connect thousands of islands and which are the source of life for much of rural Kerala. Gently cruising through the backwaters, spotting local wildlife and watching the villagers going about their daily lives is far more relaxing than we expected it to be.

The islands are covered in coconut trees (which are believed to be sacred by the keralan people) and the beauty of the areas is undeniable. It is so peaceful and so tranquil it is a thoroughly enjoyable way to spend the day. As the sun goes down we head back to our small hotel in Fort Cochin and pass the Santa Cruz Basilica (a Portuguese Catholic Church).

We are drawn closer by the sound of music and find that they are having an evening carol service. The grounds are full of locals of all ages holding candles and singing Christmas Carols. It is a fantastic sight and experience and we’re disappointed to realise that it’s nearing the end. This is our first sign of Christmas and truly gets us in the festive spirit.

Today we travel further up the coast of Kerala to Fort Cochin, a historic trading port with a strong Portuguese and Dutch influence. Fort Cochin itself is very small and easy to walk around which makes it quite different to a number of places we’ve been to. In addition, it has a wonderful mixture of religions and the town is crammed full of Hindu temples, Jewish synagogues and catholic churches. As with most of Kerala there is a high proportion of literacy (approx. 95%) and with the lush surroundings and abundance of fishing the life of the people here seems so much easier and more enjoyable than Rajasthan.

An early rise the next morning and we’re off for a daytrip to Munnar, a town high up in the hills surrounded by Tata tea plantations. This is well worth a visit. The journey up to Munnar takes a good few hours by car but the scenery is breathtaking. Rich, green tea plantations cover the hills as we head higher and higher up the mountain. A break in our journey allows us an unexpected elephant ride through a spice garden. We stop for lunch in Munnar itself, delicious biryani and curry…

For those with more time on their hands, Munnar is a fantastic place for hiking and exploring the surrounding scenery. For those like us who have only a day, the experience is limited to the views you have on the way up and down. However, these views are spectacular. So despite spending a long day in the car – this trip is well worth it.

Day 20 – 24: Varkala. Time to reflect.

Our stay in Varkala allows us plenty of time to relax on the beach, swim in the ocean, have two pairs of trousers made and tuck in to some fresh fish and good food. We also spend plenty of time commenting on the state of the ubiquitous backpackers.

“Why do they not shower? When did they last wash their hair? What’s the deal with do the long nappy trousers? Stop walking around in bare feet. We do not want to listen to your guitar playing. Smoking a joint on the beach is not cool. Food is cheap, you can afford more than one plate of food between three of you.” Etc. etc.

Jemima is considering writing a book: ‘My bag has wheels: A thirty-something’s guide to the gap year’.

Despite the proximity of the great unwashed, we are thoroughly relaxing and enjoying the slow pace and afford ourselves some time to reflect on what we’ve observed about India so far.

Shopping:

1. Bill Murray and Richard Gere are the most prolific shoppers in Rajasthan.
2. Monsoon and Liberty’s import materials from every textile merchant, stall or one-man band without exception.

Litter:

1. India is absolutely covered in litter.
2. The concept of throwing your rubbish away is in fact, throwing your rubbish wherever you happen to be standing.
3. Cows eat cardboard. (And plastic, and paper, etc.)
4. Litter is rarely collected and only when there is a financial motivation.

The rules of the road:

1. If you own a lorry, it must be brightly painted and decorated with streamers and tinsel.
2. If you own a motorbike, you must have at least three other passengers onboard before travelling.
3. If you own a tractor it must be playing Hindi music full blast for all road travellers to hear.
4. If you drive a tuk-tuk, you can travel in any direction you please regardless of safety or any threat to your passengers’ or fellow road-users’ lives.
5. If you are a cow (or any other type of livestock) feel free to stand, sleep, or nurture your offspring in the middle of the road or highway.
6. The final rule that all road users must abide by, use your horn frequently. Do not be shy, do not be timid, the world wants to know you are on the road. And, if you have a horn that plays a tune, all the better.

If we think of any other sweeping generalisations, we’ll let you know.

Day 19: Mumbai to Varkala (Kerala). Goodbye dusty desert, hello tantalising tropics.

We are slightly disappointed to arrive in Kerala, as we hadn’t quite finished ‘Evil Love’ the second great Bollywood movie we were watching on the plane. Apparently it bombed at the box office – but we loved it. We leave the airport humming the wedding mantra from the film ‘bomb, diddily bomb, diddily bomb, don’t want no love, bomb, diddily bomb, diddily bomb, don’t need no love…’ it was hilarious. Or at least we thought so. We’d also watched a twenty-year old classic ‘The victor is the conqueror’, which is a cross between chariots of fire and grease. We highly recommend them both if you are considering your next Friday night in and need a happy ending. :-)

Kerala is immediately different to everything we’ve experienced so far. It’s a lush, tropical palm-fringed region with dense vegetation and a beautiful coastline. We arrive at Varkala, about 50 minutes drive from Trivandrum (the capital) and are welcomed by the sight of the beautiful, inviting ocean.

Varkala beach is far less touristy than some of the other areas of Kerala and with its impressive, steep red cliffs and slightly ‘hippyish’ atmosphere, it reminds us of the novel ‘The Beach’. With the beautiful surroundings and laidback café’s that line the cliff-top you can easily see the backpackers getting lost here for a while.

There is an abundance of small gift shops and places to eat, and after a quick stroll down the front, we settle in for some fresh fish curry.

Day 18: Jodhpur to Mumbai. In transit.

Crisp, white, luxurious, Egyptian cotton…soft, sumptuous, squishy pillows…a hot, powerful shower… and fresh, cooling aircon. This is the Hyatt Regency, Mumbai.

On numerous occasions during our trip we’ve criticised those people who stay in Western hotels in India and miss out on the eclectic hospitality and sights awaiting them elsewhere. For tonight, however, this is pure bliss!

As this is a short transit stop for us, there is not much point taking the hour plus journey into Mumbai and most hotels by the airport are of the Hyatt, Taj or Marriott variety. We are robbed blind by the hotel airport car service, and the mineral water at nearly seven times the price of elsewhere but boy do we have a great shower and a good night’s sleep.

Day 17: Rohet Garh. And time to relax.

We’re sitting in a beautiful garden surrounded by the sounds of birds and water fountains trickling away as Phil sips his gin and tonic and Jemima has a nice cup of tea. We have moved on from Jaisalmer and have treated ourselves to a stay at a former royal residence just outside Jodphur.

We have decided to skip Udaipur, Agra and Varanasi, replacing them with a trip down to the lush green south of the country instead. We will fly from Jodhpur to Mumbai, and then on to Trivandrum (in Kerala) over the next couple of days and felt that a bit of luxury to help us on our way was the way forward.

Jemima spends the early part of the evening in the spa having a good scrub and massage, while Phil relaxes in the gardens. We enjoy a nice bottle of wine before finally heading off to our huge room (which apparently Madonna stayed in) for a good night’s sleep.

This is definitely our cup of tea…